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"The moment we [Africans] lost our languages was also the moment we lost our bodies, our gold, diamonds, copper, coffee, tea." - Ngugi wa Thiong'o

How To Achieve Marriage Equilibrium = A Happy Home

Let me describe Marriage Equilibrium to be the point where a partner’s endurance meets his/her partner’s annoyance, in their relationship.

Marriage on its own was explained by an IGBO adage as a situation where two strangers agreed to live together and try to ‘manage’ their inadequacies amongst other things.

For illustrative purposes, I have categorised Marriage into 3 types:

1. Happy Marriage: a perfect marriage where the couple tolerate each other  
2. Semi-Happy Marriage: where a partner solely tolerates his/her partner
3. Broken Marriage: where nobody is tolerating nobody

Invariably, every married couple wish to have a perfect marriage. As such, a happy marriage maintains stability in every family, which leads to a happy home. The couple’s children will remain happy and confident because their parents are happy.

Whereas a semi-happy marriage may achieve similar results as a happy marriage, but the drawback is that the happiness in that marriage rests on the shoulders of one partner. Accordingly, if that partner decides that he/she has had enough; broken marriage will be the result.

In that kind of situation, the children will bear the brunt of their parents intolerant of each other. They will become unhappy and insecure, which will affect their education and probably renders them social misfits. In order to avoid this social catastrophe, every couple should embrace the benefits of Marriage Equilibrium. 

This leads to that pertinent question; how can a couple achieve Marriage Equilibrium? In answering this question, let’s examine and adapt the workings of another Equilibrium known as Market Equilibrium.

In Economics, Market Equilibrium is where the quantity of goods supplied equalled the quantity of goods demanded.

In other words, it is the price at which a Seller is happy to sell all of his goods and the Buyer equally happy to buy all of those goods. This price is normally set after a prolonged price negotiation.

Thus, the Seller and the Buyer will remain satisfied with that price until it changes. And it is a change in Demand or Supply that will alter the price, which will lead to another price haggling that will influence new price equilibrium.

As we know from elementary economics, when there’s an increase in Demand for a particular product/service, its price will rise. Naturally, there will be an increase in Supply to match that increase in Demand. That increase in Supply will drive down the price of the product until equilibrium is reached.

Now, by using the above analogy, let’s try and achieve Marriage Equilibrium. But first let’s substitute Demand with Annoyance; Supply with Endurance and Price with Broken marriage.

Thus, when a partner’s Annoyance (Demand) increases, the other partner should increase his/her Endurance (Supply). His/her constant endurance will drive down the possibility of a broken marriage (Price) until Marriage equilibrium is attained.

In summary, in a relationship; I am sorry; can make all the difference. Hence, I wish all married couples a happy marriage. I mean; Marriage Equilibrium.

If this makes sense to you; then share it with your friends.