Hell Is Earth, Heaven Is Death



01 April 2015

The Fools In April

Gary: Neighbour; I was looking for you last night to give you the latest news. 
Dom: Oh! I wasn't home; I attended the night vigil and midnight prayer of our church.
Gary: Night vigil on a Tuesday?
Dom: Don’t you know what’s happening in the country?
Gary: What do you mean?
Dom: The current gang-up against Pres. Jonathan. We have to pray and fast in order to stop this Boko Haram man called Buhari and his fellow conspirators from removing Jonathan.
Gary: That’s exactly why I was looking for you; Buhari has won the presidential election.
Dom: You are very funny. You think I don’t know what today is.
Gary: What is today?
Dom: If you don’t know, go and ask your children; they will tell you.
Gary: Seriously, Buhari has won the presidential election
Dom: In fact, let me just say it to you before you do; April Fools’ Day!
Gary: That’s right; today is 1st April, but neighbour; this is real, it is not April fool. In fact, President Jonathan has congratulated Buhari.
Dom: You can tell that to the marines.
Gary: You are not the only person in doubt, everybody, especially people of the South-east and South-south regions.
Dom: If you are not trying to fool me on this 1st April, then, how can a sitting president lose an election? It has never happened in Nigeria.
Gary: That’s democracy in action.
Dom: Did you want to say conspiracy in action?
Gary: Conspiracy against whom?
Dom: The people of the old Eastern region
Gary: No! It is democracy in action: government by the people and for the people.
Dom: Or conspiracy in action: government for the people by Mr Jega (INEC chairman)?
Gary: Why do you call it a conspiracy?
Dom: Can't you see the same hand that assisted in defeating the Biafrans is the same hand that's assisting in defeating Jonathan.
Gary: What hand are you talking about?
Dom: North and West alliance (Hausa/Fulani and Yoruba alliance)
Gary: Hmmm
Dom: That’s the conspiracy that I am talking about.
Gary: I can see where you are coming from.
Dom: Well, Buhari: congratulations!
Gary: What next for our people?
Dom: Sidon look: actually, our people will wake-up this morning to realise that the joke is on us.
Gary: What Kind of joke do you mean?
Dom: The practical joke played on The Fools in April.